Gorgeous by Paul Rudnick

Author:Paul Rudnick
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: General Fiction
ISBN: 9780545464895
Publisher: Scholastic
Published: 2013-04-29T06:00:00+00:00

“And now everyone hates me even more, for so many totally good reasons.”

“Well,” said the prince, “not everyone.”

“You are being way too nice.”

“And you, even after the Battle of Ascot, and now crawling on your belly, you remain compulsively lovely.”

We looked at each other and neither of us could speak because we were so embarrassed and so deliriously happy, because now we knew that we’d not only liked kissing each other at the museum, but we both laughed at the same awful things. And for a second I did something truly insane: I completely forgot that we were the prince and Rebecca. I’d never been so comfortable around a guy before and so I allowed myself to believe that the moment was just what it felt like, which was a really fun date.

But then I reminded myself about Tom Kelly and my deadline and I forced myself to be practical, asking, “So what are we going to do?”

“First,” said the prince, who was also pulling himself together, “we’re going to have lobster bisque. And then we might stroll a few yards to the parapet, because I enjoy saying ‘parapet,’ and then we will survey the city and I will helpfully indicate the more trenchant landmarks, including Trafalgar Square, the Tate Museum and the soon-to-be-available homes of our most recently indicted public figures. And then I thought we might dance.”

The prince turned and a row of rented footlights illuminated an eight-piece orchestra that began playing something that sounded familiar because it included the notes of my mom’s ringtone, and then I remembered why my mom had downloaded that particular tune. It was the Love Theme from Under the Tree. It was a sweeping, way-too-goopy melody, the kind of song you could never get out of your head no matter how hard you tried; it was a song composed for kazoos and elevators and weddings held in turnpike steakhouses. It had been my mom’s favorite song ever and even though it was the musical equivalent of a red velvet cup-cake frosted with pink buttercream and those chalky little hearts that read “Kiss Me” and “Be Mine,” just at this moment, I loved it, because I knew that the prince’s generosity, and his eyes, and especially the orchestra would have made my mother swoon. Everything was in fact unbearably perfect, in an irresistibly Oscar-night sort of way, except for one significant detail I couldn’t help bringing up.

“This is all pretty damn impressive,” I said. “Even for a prince. But — what about tomorrow?”

“You mean, tomorrow, when the nation rises as one and demands your head on either a spike or a platter or hanging from a branch, as a piñata? The tomorrow when everyone insists that I return to the far more sedate and well-bred and only lightly bruised arms of Lady Jessalyn? Are you referring to that particular tomorrow?”

“Yes. And if we’re both being honest there’s something else I should ask you.”

I was ashamed of myself for coming within a thousand miles

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